Bubblegum Monster
by Fuzzy Wolf
Summary: All in a days work for the Nordic 5! Now uh, would someone please come and let them out? Just a little crack written for my sister on her birthday. T for language.


A/N: So this is a birthday present for my wonderful sister Katlynn888. It was written purely for her enjoyment and it is crack. So if some of the characters (I.e. all of them) are OOC don't be too surprised. It will be nice if you like it but I'm not really too concerned about it, because it was written quickly with the intention to make her laugh.

Disclamer: I do not own Hetalia.

Beta'd by my wonderful sister Katlynn888 I love you! (Yes she had to beta her own birthday present.)

**Bubblegum Monster**

Umm… Haha, well it seems as though it's been left up to me to explain this…err, interesting circumstance, as everyone else seems to have gone absolutely CRAZY! Ah…well, I don't know all the details and anyone I could have gotten them from is now comatose and not really in a condition to be answering anything, even if it is KIND OF REALLY FRICKEN INPORTANT! Ahem… Anyways, I don't know the whole story but I'm going to try and fill it in as best I can!

So…uh…sit back and get ready to hear Denmark's Super-Awesome-Spectacular Rendition of how the Nordic 5 Got Stuck in this Ridicules Situation! Damn that's a mouthful!

* * *

Anyway… What am I suppose to be doing? Oh that's right! Right! Anyway, so it all started on a regular old, boring Tuesday morning and I had just broken, like, my millionth alarm clock…

"Aw fuck, not again!" I yelled, staring with remorse at the ruined remains of my alarm clock. Damn, I really need to stop using my axe to turn it off; this was like, what? The 4th one this month?

Outside the birds were singing, the sun was shining, and snow was glittering prettily on the ground. It really was shaping up to be a regular old Tuesday morning. In retrospect, I really should have realized that it wouldn't be as normal as I thought when, twenty minutes later, my shower blew up.

And, man, when I say blew up, I mean that thing blew sky high! Luckily, my awesome saved me, so I wasn't in the shower at the time. However, I did see it land in the neighbor's yard from my bedroom window! Man, was that a cool sight! It made a huge crater and everything! It would have been so much more awesome if it hadn't been my shower…

Well, anyway, I didn't get much time to mourn the loss of my shower, because the next thing I know Norway is busting into my room with this crazy look on his face. Now, don't get me wrong, I've seen Norway pissed off to the max plenty of times, but I mean _seriously_; the look on his face? Yeah, it looked like Norway had _checked out_ for a while if you know what I mean. So he just stands there, looking around in that rapid, jerky way crazy people do, and then he grabs my arm and starts dragging me out of my room, grumbling about how it's not safe and that they're watching and they'd found him and so on and so forth.

Now honestly at this point I didn't know what the fuck was going on. My shower had just_ blown up_ (Which I still don't have an answer for) and Norway had flown so far off the deep end that he had resorted to stereotypical crazy person ranting. Then things got so much weirder.

Iceland stepped out of his room with Puffin perched on his head and a huge ass water gun held in his hands. And what do you ask was it filled with? Well it was filled with Coca-cola. Yes, you read right—Iceland was holding a massive water gun filled with Coca-fucking-cola. Confused yet? Yeah, me too.

But that's not the end of it; oh no. Then Iceland tosses another water gun filled with Coca-cola at Norway and they both cock them as if they were a couple of machine guns or something. I'm not even fucking kidding you; they really did that.

So, by now I'm understandably confused out of my mind and I have so many questions that I think I just might have a hernia on top of everything else. But the only thing I managed to say was, "What the hell…?"

Norway turns to look at me and gives me this really inpatient look, like I'm actually supposed to know what's going on, and says, "No time to explain; we have to go get Finland and Sweden." Then he and Iceland start marching off down the hall like they're going off to war.

I stood around gaping like a fish for a few minutes, wondering just what the hell was going on, before I realized they where gone and ran after them. Hey, they where acting crazy and were possibly delusional, I wasn't going just _let_ them go off and play in traffic!

When I got outside, Norway and Iceland had apparently found Sweden and Finland, because they were all standing in a circle together. Finland and Sweden wielded two more water guns and looked very seriously at each other.

"Are you all ready?" Norway asked, the crazy look gone and replaced with his usual, 'Fuck off, I don't care about you and your issues' face.

"I'm ready," said Iceland, a steely look his eyes.

"Me too." Finland looked uncharacteristically stern and determined. A look that rarely appeared on his face outside of wartime.

"'s 'm I." Well, at least Sweden didn't look any different. Then they all looked at each other and in unison cocked their guns impressively. Really.

"…Are you guys water fighting with coke or something?" I asked, hopeful that I had found some sort of solution to this madness.

They all turned to look at me with flat looks on their faces and continued to stare until Norway said, "Don't mind him, he's an idiot."

I was about to protest this (Norway can be so mean sometimes!) but I never got the chance to because Norway shushed me harshly ("SHHHH!") and waved his hand for silence.

We all waited, tense and unmoving; waiting for something to happen. And then we felt it. The ground was shaking in a pattern and off in the distance you could hear a thump, thump in time with the shakes.

Then, in the distance, I saw what has to be the most ridicules thing I have ever seen. Its body was large and chunky, it was easily twenty feet tall and its head was shaped like a bolder. But that's not what was ridicules about this thing, no. What was so funny was that it was completely pink and dripping with some sort of clear liquid. This thing… It was a pink, twenty foot tall bubblegum monster. I just about fell over laughing right there.

Norway turned to give me a dirty look, but he froze and I swear I could see his skin crawl when a large, sticky glob of saliva dripped onto his head.

"Fire!" he yelled, whipping back around. I watched in amazement as Norway, Iceland, Sweden, and Finland opened fire on that thing with their water guns full of Coca-cola. The only thing I could think was, 'Am I seriously watching this?' as I fell to my knees, my laughter having escalated to the point where I was practically choking.

They continued like that, spraying it down in what looked like a desperate manner, until the thing drew in a big breath and began to blow. As expected, a bubble began to form around its mouth.

Norway's eyes widened into two hug plates as he pointed, shrieking, "Don't let him finish that bubble!"

They redoubled their efforts (If that where possible) and began to spray it even harder, but it seemed to have no effect. The thing just kept blowing until finally, it stopped and considered us for a moment. Whatever it decided, it apparently didn't like us much, because he went and spit the bubble at us anyways.

* * *

Yep. So that's how the Nordic 5 (and one Puffin) found themselves stuck in a giant pink bubble. Hey; I told you it was ridicules.

So yeah, I bet you have some questions. Like, "Where did the giant bubblegum monster come from, Den?" Well, I can honestly say that I have no freakin' clue. I don't know where it came from or what its purpose is, and I don't know why the others seemed to know all about it. And I can't really ask them, seeing as they've all gone stir crazy! Norway, Finland, and Sweden are all just sitting around staring, unresponsive when spoken to. That, and for the better part of an hour now Iceland has had his mouth attached to the back of my head _drooling_. Ack; it's getting really disgusting…

We have been sitting out here for 6 hours, freezing our asses off, and I am so hungry I'm about to eat Puffin.

So, moving on, this piece of paper not only serves as a way for me to tell our harrowing tale, but it is also the last will and testament of the Nordic countries.

…We have all unanimously agreed that everything goes to Hanatamago.

And so, with that done, I bid you farewell my oh-so patient readers. Oh, and if someone could come by and pop this bubble for us, we would be really, very grateful.

Thanks~

—Denmark the Awesome

P.S.—I still don't know why my shower blew up.

**End**

A/N: So I hope it made you laugh I know it was a bit random and it didn't really tell you anything about the Bubblegum Monster, or why the Nordics where fighting it but that was the point. All the same I hope you liked it.

**Sweden Translation** – "As am I."

Happy Birthday Sissy!

B/N: Haha, this was hilarious. And it was my birthday present. As Fuzzy_Wolf and I are twins, it be her birthday too so you should totally give her reviews as HER birthday present. :)


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